The feeling of disconnection from ones “true self” is a favorite topic of philosophers, armchair psychoanalysts and navel-gazers alike. And, not surprisingly, the rift between who we are and who we want to be seems to be growing in our age of hyper-connectivity. We are constantly plugged into the internet, social networks, Netflix streaming, texts from friends and coworkers, etc. etc. etc. All of this ‘noise’ (which is fun, don’t get me wrong!) can serve as a distraction from life’s deeper questions: Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I want? After all, we don’t have time to pursue our passions if we’re obsessively refreshing our Facebook feeds and putting out fires at work! The cultivation of passion and connection to self require time for silence and reflection–precious commodities in today’s culture.
But what happens when you take the time to reconnect to your heart’s desire, to pursue your calling or to follow your passion and you realize the devastating truth: You don’t remember what it is. You have a vague memory, some scribbled notes in a journal, but it all seems so distant. If you are here right now, don’t despair. You are not alone.
My friend Sarah introduced me to Life Literacy Labs a while back by doing one of C.A.’s inspired exercises on this very topic. C.A. has identified 62 power questions to reconnect to yourself. Sarah’s courage in answering these questions in a public forum was absolutely inspiring–and I am going to follow suit!
I plan to tackle 5-10 questions per entry. Has anyone else worked through this list? Please let me know how it went for you.
What is that thing that no one, not even your partner, your mother or your best friend, knows about you?
I swear like a sailor when I drive by myself. I can go from zero to batshit angry in no time flat. This is especially weird because I give my sweetie such a hard time when he gets frustrated while driving, but my road rage is SO much worse. Sorry, sweetie!
What would make you feel embarrassed in public?
Making a mistake, especially in front of a large group. (Hello, perfectionism!)
What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it?
Indecision. I’ve accepted it as part of my personality, and something that I need to be aware of. I let my logical brain spin itself out making pro and con lists, and then I try to go with my gut.
Edited to add: Hmm. After thinking it over, I think my indecision is actually a symptom of my perfectionism. I’m indecisive because I am terrified of making the wrong choice. I’ve been working on giving myself permission to make mistakes, and recognizing that there’s no such thing as “perfect.”
This blog is a big part of mortifying my perfectionism. It has stifled my voice for far too long…
What is your biggest strength? How did you develop it?
My biggest strengths are empathy/acceptance. I try to understand where other people are coming from, even if their behavior seems inexplicable from the outside!
What do you have to put up with in your life? How long have you been tolerating it?
I put up with a messy/disorganized living environment. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember.