62 Questions – Part Three

I am working through Life Literacy Lab’s 62 power questions to reconnect to yourself. Let me know if you’re ready to take the challenge with me. I’d love to have a buddy!

1. What is the way you often sabotage yourself?

   Procrastination.

2. Who would you like to please the most?

   My sweetie.

3. What do you think a stranger’s first impression of you would be?

   Oh, what a weird question. Someone recently describe me as “alarmingly perky.” Let’s go with friendly, but scattered.

4. What recurring dream do you have? What do you think is the message your subconscious is sending you through that dream?

   I don’t have recurring dreams in the classic sense, but the same scenario plays out frequently. I revisit an old classroom or school and something is different. People don’t remember me, or my desk is gone, or the classroom has changed dramatically. Often I’m visiting the stage and backstage area of my school in Sacramento or at Cal. I first had this dream in fourth grade, and I was revisiting my third grade classroom. I was super dramatic and walked into the classroom crying, holding a purse. They find a chair for me and I sit and try to collect myself as the lesson goes on.

   Perhaps it is a warning about nostalgia? I want to revisit certain stages, but know deep-down that they no longer exist.

5. What would you try now if you were sure you wouldn’t fail?

   I have always struggled with this question. It seems to beg for a huge answer, like “I would move to New York and become a star on Broadway.” But I don’t really want that. So instead of trying to manufacture a big thing, I’ll focus on a smaller topic. I suppose I would sing in front of people with my real voice. It’s the only thing where fear of failure completely immobilizes me. Well, not completely. It’s complicated. I can do it, especially if it’s improvised singing (speaking of, I have two shows coming up! Long-form (no singing) on 9/3 and short form (with singing!) on 9/9!), but if I am doing a recital or audition–or even karaoke for goodness sake–my technique goes out the window and my sound suffers. I’m afraid to sing with my real voice.

Part Two
Part One